That’s not to say I’m unhappy. Far from it! But I’ve taken a step back from a lot of things in order for me to be able to concentrate on making myself whole again. I’ve got a lot of work to do. I’ve narrowed down my goals into three tangible, attainable targets. I intend to improve:

• My career prospects
• My relationship with my daughter
• My health

Drunk karaoke - circa January 2011

Okay well “enjoyed” might be misleading – actually it was the crappiest shawarma I’ve had in months. What’s up, Anoush? You did not bring your A-game today! The company was lovely, though.

After walking with Soju to the scene of her meeting in Yorkville, I decided to have a wander through Pusateri’s on my way back to the office. For those of you who don’t know – Pusateri’s is a chi chi frou frou gourmet food store where lunch costs 85$ and they offer valet parking and pet minding for your diamond-collar-studded yapper named Pookums.

So I poked around for a while, but eventually I got tired of being shoved and jostled by wealthy matriarchs and sunglass-wearing socialites who could obviously smell the middle class on me and did not spare the snake eyes. So I grabbed the cheapest drink in the cooler and got the hell out of Dodge.

Is this crap good? Let's find out.

That drink ended up being Zevia® Natural Diet Ginger Ale. Zevia is soda pop sweetened with Stevia instead of sugar or aspartame, which is how they get off calling their soda “natural”. Yeah, cause it’s chock full of natural ingredients like citric acid, erythritol and “caramel colour”. Uh, what’s the caramel colour made of? BET IT’S A CHEMICAL!

Mmmm erythritol, my favourite!

But whatever, I eat chemicals for breakfast (literally) so I’m not offput by this. Since I currently have clear skin and am having a good hair day, I’ve decided to share my taste testing experience with you in the form of Instagram photos. Here’s my in-the-end reaction to this product:

Meh, it's okay. Not worth 2$ though.

As we were preparing to pull into the parking lot, we noticed some shit-for-brains on one of those e-bikes zooming down the sidewalk. The sidewalk! Whatta jerk! He was weaving from side to side too – it was ridiculous. So we’re just about to make a right turn into the parking lot (using the driveway with the big IN sign, cause we like obeying signs yo) when a dude in a white work van makes a left turn into the street (from the IN driveway, because he’s a rebel who disobeys signs I guess). This guy was seriously ugly – bright yellowish red afro that started right at the top of his head because of his receding hair line, a sleeveless basketball jersey, and crazy I’m-on-crack bugged out eyes.

Well, he didn’t look where he was going when he pulled out, because he was too busy cackling at e-bike guy, and he T BONED ANOTHER CAR! We saw the whole thing.

Which means we also saw him freak the hell out, throw that work van into reverse, and flee the scene through the Red Lobster parking lot at about 80kmph. We rushed to the woman in the middle of Dufferin Street, who saw my gentleman friend approaching and starting pointing at him and screeching “you hit me! You hit my car!!!”

When he succeeded in reassuring her that it wasn’t us that hit her, she threw her arms around him in a big ole adrenaline induced bear hug and then I got so jealous I beat her up.

Just kidding haha

Anyway, we provided descriptions and our contact info and off she went on her merry little way to the collision reporting centre.

This is what the guy looked like. I spent all afternoon drawing *cough*tracingfrompicturesiprintedofftheinternet*cough* this picture so gimme a little love, wouldja?

Look Ma I'm An Artist!

Where the heck have I been, anyway?

Funny you should ask.

Mostly I’ve been busy doing stuff like, oh I dunno, marching in parades and stuff…

… and working full time! Not at my job though – I’m in the Cheri Dinovo campaign office, helping one of the most fabulous NDP MPP’s in Ontario get re-elected!

You’d have to be living under a rock not to know the two following things:

1. I lean so far to the left it’s a wonder I don’t fall over, and;
2. There is a provincial election called in Ontario for October 6th.

So while I’m gone (from here anyway) - follow me on Twitter why dontcha. I’m on there quite a bit.

Forgive me. It’s just that… well, I’ll be honest: I kinda feel like I’ve lost an actual family member, and I wanted to keep my grief private for a day or two. Besides, what could I have possibly written that hasn’t been covered already, by hundreds of bloggers, thousands of chalk-wielding Torontonians, through tens of thousands of tweets?

In the last two days, I have cried. I have raged. I have mourned. I have cried some more. This is new to me. I have never before been this affected by the death of a politician. When I found out Monday morning, I stopped breathing. My chest hurt. I felt spontaneous and uncontrollable pinpricks of tears in my eyes. I felt panic and fear and despair. What will we do now? I thought. How will we continue the fight to defend working people and families without our leader?

Who will lead us?

Then, the most amazing thing happened. Jack spoke to us. He wrote us a letter. And it all became clear. The pinpricks subsided. The fear abated. The panic and despair lessened. Jack told us what we must do. He told us not to lose hope. He told us that the best response to those who would tell us to give up our cause will be to recommit with energy and determination to our work. He told us that our energy, our vision,  and our passion for justice are exactly what this country needs today. He told us to be loving, hopeful and optimistic.

He told us he believes in us.

© Stuart Thursby

What will we do now? We will pick up the torch and carry on the fight to defend families and working people, to ensure every Canadian has access to health care, affordable childcare, and good jobs that pay enough to feed their family AND pay the bills, not one or the other. We will ensure that no one is left behind – not the unemployed, not those who suffer from addiction or mental health issues, not seniors, not children. We will remember our proud history of social justice.

How will we continue the fight? We will continue it with energy, and with passion. We will succeed because finally, we have real choice. Our votes matter. Our voices matter. We won’t let them tell us it can’t be done.

Who will lead us? My friends… we will. WE WILL.

(It occurs to me that I haven’t yet written about my newly acquired wheels – maybe tomorrow, when the anger has settled into a plan of action.)

About two weeks ago, someone snuck behind my house, hopped on my daughter’s bike (which, it should be noted, has two flat tires and hasn’t been ridden in over a year) and took it for a joyride in the middle of the night. I never would have noticed, except they didn’t put it back where they got it – they left it leaning against my front porch. What a stupid thing to do, I thought, but it’s really my fault for leaving it unlocked.

From that moment on, I was (a bit) more vigilant in locking up our bikes. I live in a quiet residential neighbourhood and all spring and summer, the bikes were unlocked without a problem. Still though, I didn’t want to tempt fate.

However, Sunday night I forgot to lock my bike, and guess what happened? You guessed it – my good friend the would-be bike thief took it out for a spin, again leaving it slumped against the front porch when he (or she, I guess) was done joyriding.

I must admit to being a little pissed off about it. I’m no pleasure cyclist – I rely on this big hunka burning love to get to and from work! Still though, I knew I had only myself to blame, and promptly locked it up. Here’s the thing though – there’s nothing to actually lock it TO in the backyard, so I just locked all three of my bikes together (my new one, the old one [which is the story I'll have to tell you all later], and the piece of shit youth bike my daughter’ll probably never ride again, but that I can’t get rid of because I can’t help but feel I’m a bad mom if my kid doesn’t have a bike, and yes I know that’s ridiculous).

Well. I guess my little miscreant skulked back there last night and was quite shocked to find the bikes locked up and unavailable for joyriding. And I guess he wanted to let me know. This morning, I awoke to this sight:

What you’re looking at here are the three locked-together bikes knocked over in anger, with an old abandoned flat-tired bike thrown on top of the pile for good measure. My bike is the one on the bottom.

The damage? A screwed up gearshift, a squeaky front tire and a broken (as in SNAPPED) right pedal. I am livid! I’m a single parent! I need this bike to get to work, damnit! Some punk is playing games with me big time, and I don’t know what to do.

My boyfriend and my coworkers state the obvious: don’t leave the bike outside anymore. Yeah, in theory this would be fine, but that means that I either have to make space in my dining room for a freaking bicycle, or I have to use the bike racks conveniently located in my storage room, which is in the basement of the building across the courtyard and is a real pain in the ass to access, not to mention I’d have to carry it up and down a flight of stairs. Also, I have to consider that if I keep it in the storage room, the punk will have access to it, assuming (as I do) that he lives in the building.

So great. Bike in the dining room. Jennie is not a happy cyclist today. Tell me: what would you do?

So hi! I’m on holidays this week. This morning, I rolled out of bed after nine o’clock, made myself a cup of Dutch chocolate flavoured coffee (which, guys, really sucks – I’m out of coffee and this crap’s my backup) and thought, “geez it sure would be good to have eggs Benedict this morning!”

Except I don’t have English muffins or back bacon, and can I be honest and say the thought of poaching eggs and making a freaking hollandaise sauce kinda intimidated me? So I did what any culinary fraidy cat in my position would do: I turned to allrecipes.com for recipes and YouTube for how-to videos :) I’d link you some of the better ones I found, but again, iPhone n00b here. Is n00b even still a cool thing to say? Is cool? Oh man, I’m glad my kid doesn’t read this.

Yes, that is No Name butter and lemon juice, because I am trashy like that and this is a NO COOK BLENDER HOLLANDAISE OKAY? Obviously not A Julia Child recipe.

Sure, okay. Looking good, yeah?

I skipped a buncha steps. Here’s me pouring melted butter into the blender. Go me!

Omg so delicious. Could have used a wee bit less mustard though. Never thought I’d say THAT eh?

Not the worst pic of me to appear on this blog. Happy breakfast!!!

When I set out to write this post, I didn’t know whether to use the term jealousy or envy. I looked up the definitions of both, and found that neither really applied:

jeal·ousy Noun. Feeling of resentment against someone because of that person’s rivalry, success, or advantages.

en·vy Noun. A feeling of discontent or covetousness with regard to another’s advantages, success, possessions, etc.

I’ll try to explain what I’m feeling, and then I hope that you, gentle reader, will help me find the words to describe what I’m feeling.

Many of my friends and family members are experiencing great change and/or happiness right now.  Roslyn, my dearest friend since high school, gave birth to her fourth beautiful child this year. @ms_snickerpants, one of my very best friends, is getting married to the man of her dreams. My friend Isabel has just moved to South Korea where she is embarking on a great adventure teaching English and exploring the world. You can read about her adventures here. My youngest brother and my stepsister have both risked everything to make their dreams come true, and have emerged victorious in love and acceptance. My new friend Val turned her entire life upside down to finally be true to herself, and is now a proud, confident, happy Lesbian woman (not that she wasn’t before, but not having to hide your feelings and beliefs must feel so empowering and uplifting).

So here’s the thing: while I do have my own awesome stuff going on right now, I’m also jealous of the serious fabulosity my friends are enjoying right now. But jealousy isn’t the right word, because what I feel isn’t negative in any way, shape or form. I don’t wish to have what they have, and I don’t wish for them not to have it. I don’t feel they don’t deserve it, and I certainly don’t feel I deserve it more.

So what, exactly, am I feeling? Is it a simple matter of being happy for them? Because I am. So much. But there’s got to be a word for it! Can you help?

In June, my friend Tara‘s mom got married on her farm in Meaford, Ontario and was kind enough to invite me. The bride and groom actively participate in War of 1812 re-enactments throughout North America, and so having a period wedding seemed natural. It was a truly wonderful wedding, and by far the most beautiful and unique I’ve ever attended!

That weekend I also got to spend time in one of my hometowns, Wasaga Beach. You all know I was raised in the wilderness of Northern Ontario, but I spent my adolescence in Wasaga. It was great to head to the beach, bury my feet in the sand, have a good cry and a good laugh, and spend a few hours feeling… at home.

Later in June, I attended a union-sponsored educational weekend, where I learned to organize my membership to effect positive change. The weekend educationals are held four times a year, and the best thing about the June educational is that on the Saturday evening, we all pile on the P.S. Trillium paddle steamer for an evening cruise of the Toronto Harbour! Drinks, dancing, and lots of fun with my union buddies.

I spent Canada Day chilling on the beach in front of Toronto’s Sunnyside Pavilion, listening to house music, drinking vodka and eating picnicky food. Later in the day, my friend ms_snickerpants‘s inlaws joined us. The Ontario Place fireworks were the perfect end to a lovely day.

Since then, I’ve done so many things: I marched in the Toronto Pride Parade, I spent a week in Port Elgin learning how to organize a provincial election campaign, I had Christmas in July with my family, I got mani pedis with the girls, I spent a day being pelted with water balloons by my nieces and nephews, I explored Scarborough for the first time, I met a great guy, I started riding my bike to work, I grew a cucumber and two green peppers on my patio, and I got an aquarium.

And to think, the summer’s only half over!