Tag Archives: TTC

My Daughter Is Smarter Than Me

Posted by on January 21, 2011 3 comments

There comes a time in every parent’s life when it becomes evident that they obviously did everything right, because their child is high-five calibre smart.

Well, I guess maybe this doesn’t happen to parents of stupid children, but I digress.

I need no reminder that my teenage daughter Gwen Junior is one smart-ass kid (both figuratively and literally), but a text message this morning was a pleasant reminder that she seriously rocks the casbah.

There’s a poster on the subway that I noticed a few weeks ago, and I couldn’t help but laugh because it’s just so tacky. It’s an ad for a no-frills funeral service here in Toronto. I remember laughing about reading such a depressing ad on the way to work every morning, and even took a picture of it:

This morning, I received a text message from my daughter, who was on her way to school. It read:

Funerals have finally become affordable.  ”improving on the traditional through convenience and affordable choices” whoever made this ttc poster needs to go back to school.

I knew right away what poster she was talking about, but spent a few minutes wondering why she thought the ad designer should “go back to school” based on that line (which, although you may not be able to see it in my photo, is in the gold bar). Then, it hit me: she thinks the grammar’s bad!

See, the way I initially read it, “convenience and affordable choices” sounded okay, because the convenience of the service and the affordable choices it offered were mutually exclusive. But evidently, my daughter felt that “convenient and affordable choices” was the correct way to go about it, illustrating that the choices were convenient as well as affordable. Which… makes total sense.

It could be argued that both ways are technically correct, but this illustrates that my daughter can, and does, explore alternate and improved ways of expressing one’s thoughts and intentions. Which I think is fucking awesome. So I replied with a ‘Omg ur right, it should be “convenient and affordable choices’. Good eye!” and spent the rest of the morning basking in my obvious superiority as a parent and all-round human being.

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It’s Not Just About Mayors, Folks!

Posted by on September 24, 2010 No comments

As Toronto gears up for the municipal elections on October 25th, one thing that is becoming very evident is that while EVERYONE is following the mayoral race, many Torontonians don’t even know what ward they live in, let alone who their councillor candidates are.

This morning, I decided to do a little research to see if any of the candidates running in my ward are labour-friendly and progressive. What I found isn’t great. I live in Ward 25, which is one of the richie-rich wards in this city. According to their websites, my candidates don’t seem very concerned with tenant rights, affordable housing, public transit improvements or programs for newcomers.

Well, okay fine. Not one to just blindly swallow what’s presented to me on the internet, I’ve decided to write each of the candidates running for councillor in my ward to find out where they stand on key issues that concern me. Here’s the letter I sent; let’s see what kind of responses I get from the candidates (or their spin doctors).

Dear __________,

As a new ward 25 resident (I moved here from another Toronto ward in 2008), I am keen to learn what I can about the candidates running for ward 25 councillor in the upcoming municipal election.

I am interested in voting for a progressive, labour-friendly candidate who recognizes that while they are certainly in the minority*, not EVERY resident of Ward 25 lives in a McMansion, has a university degree and earns over 200K per year. I’m looking for a representative at City Hall who will look out for the best interests of ALL residents, not just the rich ones. Can you tell me where you stand on the following issues?

1. A proposed requirement that all new residential building developments include a portion of affordable housing units, which would promote gentrification and would give all Torontonians the chance to live in a beautiful, vibrant neighbourhood.

2. As you may remember, a cyclist was fatally struck by a City of Toronto transportation vehicle on June 8th, 2007 at the corner of Bayview Avenue and Fifeshire Road, so I’d also like to know what you’ll do to make Ward 25 more bike- and pedestrian- friendly.

3. One mayoral candidate pledges, as part of his plan for food prosperity, a 25% increase in City funding for school nutrition programs. Statistics show that 31% of elementary school children do not eat a healthy breakfast.** What schools in your ward do you feel would most benefit from increased funding for nutritious snacks?

Finally, _______, can you tell me what federal political party you’re a member of?

I appreciate your time in answering my query. Not sure if we’ll have the chance to meet. I’ve noticed that no candidates have canvassed my street to date – maybe because it’s all apartment buildings.

Thanks,

Gwen Styles

* According to the Ward 25 profile on the Inside Toronto Votes website, 70% of residents aged 25 to 64 have a university degree, there are only 3,600 single parent families in the ward, and the average household income is $143,868.

** http://www.breakfastforlearning.ca

I’d Like To Send A Shout Out To…

Posted by on August 13, 2010 3 comments

All the screw you’s in the universe.

SCREW YOU, cat hair that clings to the rug when I try to vacuum!
SCREW YOU, dirty dishes!
SCREW YOU, city of Toronto smog!
SCREW YOU, people who can sleep in despite no AC and no curtains!
SCREW YOU, technology, for not inventing a machine I can give food orders to! (Tea, earl gray, hot.)
SCREW YOU, Lake Ontario, for being too polluted to swim in!
SCREW YOU, Rogers cable television, for being so sucky!
SCREW YOU, Royal Bank cash machines, for not spewing forth riches undeserved!
SCREW YOU, George Bush! Just because! Love, Canada!
SCREW YOU, curried lentil stew, for being an inappropriate breakfast choice!
SCREW YOU, weekend-long training I’m in but didn’t know about because nobody sent me a confirmation!
SCREW YOU, lunch, for making ME come to YOU!
SCREW YOU, guys giving away free hot sauce outside, for running out as soon as I got there!
SCREW YOU, best friend, for never returning my emails!
SCREW YOU, alcohol, for being an inappropriate workday beverage!
SCREW YOU, Coca-Cola, for not doing anything about factory workers in Columbia being murdered for trying to unionize!
SCREW YOU, eyebrows, for being scraggly!
SCREW YOU, teenage daughter, for not EVER performing random acts of kindness!
SCREW YOU, Friday afternoon, for not being a national holiday!
SCREW YOU, Rob Ford, because you’ll probably win the mayoral election and you’re STUPID!
SCREW YOU, farting subway commuter. At least have the decency to not giggle and fan it away from you!

Aaaaaaaaand I’m done. I feel much better now.

Toronto Mayoral Elections 2010

Posted by on May 27, 2010 8 comments

If you live in Toronto, you’re well aware of the fact that it’s election year! As we prepare to say goodbye to David Miller and welcome the next mayor to lead our city, we are bombarded with information about, and from, the six major contenders: Rob Ford, Giorgio Mammoliti, Joe Pantalone, George Smitherman, Rocco Rossi, and Sarah Thomson. But did  you know that there are, in actuality, twenty-seven candidates? Try getting information about the little guys, though. It’s tough. Even the City of Toronto website does nothing but provide their names – no website link, no contact information, nothing. Thanks, City of Toronto. You rock.

If you’re like me, you’re probably having a hard time getting, and trying to keep, all the information straight: who’s promising what, whose pledges are reasonable and whose are impossible, and how, exactly, they plan to put their money where their mouth is if they get elected. Google searches, news outlets and social media tend to confuse me more. So what is a blogger to do? Write a blog about it, of course!

Here, for your educational pleasure, is a list of all the Toronto Mayoral Election candidates. Read more »