Tag Archives: work - Page 2

Where I Do My Worky Stuff

They say you can learn a lot about a person by the kind of office they work in. So what kind of environment do you think I spend my days in? Am I messy or neat? Organized or fly-by-night? Are my drawers full or tidy, functional office supplies or empty keptchup packets and takeout flyers? Have a look and see for yourself! Read more »

I’d Like To Send A Shout Out To…

All the screw you’s in the universe.

SCREW YOU, cat hair that clings to the rug when I try to vacuum!
SCREW YOU, dirty dishes!
SCREW YOU, city of Toronto smog!
SCREW YOU, people who can sleep in despite no AC and no curtains!
SCREW YOU, technology, for not inventing a machine I can give food orders to! (Tea, earl gray, hot.)
SCREW YOU, Lake Ontario, for being too polluted to swim in!
SCREW YOU, Rogers cable television, for being so sucky!
SCREW YOU, Royal Bank cash machines, for not spewing forth riches undeserved!
SCREW YOU, George Bush! Just because! Love, Canada!
SCREW YOU, curried lentil stew, for being an inappropriate breakfast choice!
SCREW YOU, weekend-long training I’m in but didn’t know about because nobody sent me a confirmation!
SCREW YOU, lunch, for making ME come to YOU!
SCREW YOU, guys giving away free hot sauce outside, for running out as soon as I got there!
SCREW YOU, best friend, for never returning my emails!
SCREW YOU, alcohol, for being an inappropriate workday beverage!
SCREW YOU, Coca-Cola, for not doing anything about factory workers in Columbia being murdered for trying to unionize!
SCREW YOU, eyebrows, for being scraggly!
SCREW YOU, teenage daughter, for not EVER performing random acts of kindness!
SCREW YOU, Friday afternoon, for not being a national holiday!
SCREW YOU, Rob Ford, because you’ll probably win the mayoral election and you’re STUPID!
SCREW YOU, farting subway commuter. At least have the decency to not giggle and fan it away from you!

Aaaaaaaaand I’m done. I feel much better now.

An Interesting Point of View

I got this in an email forward today. Normally I don’t pay attention to things like that but this one made me think. Please note that I am not taking a position for, or against, this particular issue. I’m just considering it. In the five minutes since I’ve received this email, I’ve come up with a list of pros and a list of cons. What do YOU think? And really – think objectively. Don’t just go off on a “damn welfare bums I don’t wanna support them at all!” tangent unless you’d be willing to forgo that welfare check yourself if you fell on hard times.

This was written by a construction worker.

I work, they pay me. I pay my taxes, and the government distributes my taxes as it sees fit… In order to earn that pay check, I work on a rig site for a Fort McMurray construction project. At any time I am required to pass a random urine test, with which I have no problem.

HOWEVER, what I do have a problem with is the distribution of my taxes to people who don’t have to pass a urine test. Shouldn’t one have to pass a urine test to get a welfare check because I have to pass one to earn it for them? Understand – I have no problem with helping people get back on their feet. I do on the other hand have a real big problem with helping someone sit on their ass, drink beer and do drugs. Could you imagine how much money this country would save if people had to pass a urine test to get a public assistance check?

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Letters to Inanimate Objects

Do you ever feel like your life would be easier if you could relay messages to the objects in your life that are supposed to make things better? Not people (you can tell them how they’re f*cking up any old time), rather the inanimate objects that you likely don’t even think about. Consider what would happen if you could tell something to behave, and it did. Read more »